Middle School without a doubt has been an adjustment for both my daughter and me. One change I really don’t like is that I have no insight into her classmates and certainly not their parents.
In elementary school, I might not have been friends with all the parents but after 5 years of drop offs, pick ups and class events, you pretty much get to know the kids and their parents.
Plus, everyone lives in the neighborhood and everyone knows everyone.
Not so in middle school. The kids are now coming from all over the city and they walk themselves to school so there is nary a glimpse of the parents.
Here are 5 Suggestions to Get To Know Your Child’s Middle School Friends and Parent
Have an After School Gathering
Why not invite your child’s friend over for a impromptu after school snack and homework party? They may not want you to interact with them other than dropping off the food but it’s a low key way of meeting your child’s school friends. Of course, in order to invite the kids you will have to at the minimum communicate with the parents to get permission. Thanks for Rebecca Levey at beccarama.com and kidzvuz.com for her suggestion.
Chaperone a Field Trip
This may tax one’s patience however you get to see the other kids and meet a few parents.
Attend Sports Events
Does your child attend sporting events or play on the school team? My daughter plays on the JV basketball team. I have gone to a couple of games. This is great way to meet the parents of the girls on the team. You may not get more than an introduction to the team but at least you can put names to faces.
Volunteer for School Events
This is more for the parent than the child. I volunteered to chaperone the Valentine’s Day dance. This did not go over well with my daughter but who cares. I was able to check out her friends and what really is happening at the party. This was actually important to me because it was a way to check up who from the administration attends the party and how they manage the kids.
Arrange to Meet on the Weekends or After School
I know weekends are nuts for most parents but once in a while, arranging to meet or invite the kids over is great way to interact with the parents if only for the drop off and pick up portion of the play date.
Do Pick Up After School
I have gotten into the habit of my daughter being able to leave after school on her own but I think meeting her every so often is not a bad idea just to check out who is walking home with.
What have you done to meet your middle schooler’s friends and their parents?
Disclosure: NYC Single Mom was not compensated for this post.
These are great ideas! I think I must take it for granted that my daughter essentially goes to a K-8 school. She’s in middle school at Girls Prep Lower East Side, and while she is now attending a different campus for middle school, her classmates have remained the same since kindergarten. It’s nice to feel like I know many of her friends like family, but I will definitely refer to this list to meet any new friends that she has made.
Feeling real glad to live in a small town where we all know each other! I do feel like I have lost touch with the moms of my older kids’ friends because I hang out with the mom’s of my younger kids’ friends now.
When my daughter was young, I used to chaperone a lot of school functions. They also had what they called a Mother Helper and I got to meet her classmates that way.
I remember these days well! It’s a scary time until you get familiar with everyone. You have to be so careful these days who you let your children around. These are all great tips to make it easier.
Chaperoning a field trip is a good one. And the teachers really appreciate it.
When I was a teacher, not enough parents would volunteer to chaperone. I’m sure some had to work but it’s a great way to meet who your kid hangs out with.
I have an 8th grader and I too worry about the children she chooses to hang out with. I am lucky in that my house is where they most often like to hang out! Parents of middle schoolers seem to be so out of touch with their children so it is indeed hard to meet them with just pick ups and drop offs. One of my daughters friends had an end of the summer party where all the parents and children were invited! It was a great way to meet other parents 🙂
I have a first grader so I haven’t thought about this yet, but these are great ideas! I think attending sporting events or having your kids in the same sports probably helps a lot.
As a former educator I love the idea of volunteering. Teachers really need the assistance and parents really get to see and know things they never would otherwise.
I’m a former educator, too, and I love all of your tips, especially the tip about volunteering! My kids are all grown, but when they were in middle school, kids were constantly in and out of our house. I always felt more comfortable with the kids’ friends at my house instead of my kids at their houses. 🙂
I love the tips and the volunteering. That is so important. Unless you want to loose the contact with your children you will and should be doing it. I always loved the closeness and meeting other parents that became life long friends. I treasure.
Those are great tips. I so do not look forward to this age, my oldest son will be in middle school next year.. Time flies.
It is so difficult in large schools and you definitely don’t want to be shut out of understanding something about the people with whom they spend their days. I think that going to school activities is a great way to meet a lot of the parents and kids, although it’s difficult even then to meet the ones who work odd hours.
I know that was always a requirement for me to meet the parents before my kids could go over to someone else’s house. These are excellent ways to help make that happen.
I always meet the parents. Having a blog makes it easy because I can invite them over for a product review/test while the kids play. 😉
These are such great ideas. I have 2 kiddos in middle school currently. I will have to try some of these.
Good ideas. My parents would never let me go to someone’s house without meeting the parents and I think it will be very important once I have kids.
Middle School is such a huge change for everyone involved. When my little brother went we were all so nervous because of the same reasons you list. These are great tips, wish I’d had them when my brother went to MS.
These are definitely great ideas for getting to know your child’s classmates! Chaperones often have gun on field trips too!
These are some great tips!!! It’s always so weird to meet your kiddos friends and there parents. I don’t think I will ever get use to it lol