“Things happen for a reason.”
People say it all the time, I say it all the time. It’s an easy to way to explain occurrences that happen in our life. I know I do. But this cliched phrase got me thinking about God and Prayer after reading a post by my good friend and “blog husband” Daddy Mitch, titled “Prayer” who in the post talks about how unsure he believes in God but believes in a higher power.
For me, I do believe in God and I do believe in the power of prayer probably more from others than myself. My daughter’s godmother and her prayer circle are always praying for my family and I thank her for her efforts. Somebody has to be religious in this group of non -church goers.
Just in case you are wondering, I am SO a lapse Catholic who wanders into churches to pray and ask for forgiveness every few months. And yes, I will admit asking God for help selfishly but in my mind praying for a new job sounds selfish but in fact it’s to help my family. Sorry, I digress.
Once I had decided to adopt, I went about going through the long and arduous process of adoption. After month’s pulling together all my paperwork (background eheck, fingerprinting, references), I felt a sense of accomplishment and hope, once I mailed in all my documents. Then September 11th happened. You may ask yourself what to do the two things have in common, nothing and everything.
When September 11th, I was working in the World Financial Center, directly across the street from the Twin Towers (feel free to read my post Remember September 11 if you are interested). Because our building was so close to the Twin Towers, the bottom 11 floors were blown out making the building off limits due to the debris being blown into our building. As a result, all the employees were relocated around the try-state area. My team had to reverse commute to New Jersey. My twenty minute commute turned into a daily four hour commute.
During my relocated work location, I would get calls from various adoption agencies that I was working with. Not only was getting these calls an emotional roller coaster ride, I was dealing with my daily commute and the possibility I was going to get laid off (remember this was 2001 and the economy was tanking because of the dot.com implosion.) After each rejection, I actually breathed a sigh of relief. As much as I wanted to be a mother, the idea of having to manage an newborn, the commute, the possibility of loss of income was mentally daunting.
As so this went on for almost a year and until we finally ended moving back to our building. Sorry that is not how the story ends, you were thinking okay this is when she becomes a mom. Nope!
Moving back to the building reconnected me with a former direct report who had just become a mother through adoption. I didn’t even know she was planning to adopt. She is also a single woman so I was both happy and jealous. But as I was chatting with her telling her all my stories about the calls I had been getting and the roller coaster of elation then sadness at the outcome, she encouraged to me to reach out to the agency she used which was located in Pennsylvania. At that point, not that I had given up hope but waiting 2 years was just maddening, so I thought why not add another agency to the list and see what happens. It couldn’t hurt.
And wouldn’t you know it after waiting 2 years of waiting, surviving September, not losing my job, enduring my 4 hour daily commute, 3 1/2 months after sending in my paperwork, I got the fateful call that made me mom.
Who can ever say, but in my heart, through the power of prayer and God guiding the path of when I was truly ready did my efforts to becoming a mom happen. Things so happen for a reason but God does lead the way in my opinion.
And yes, I thank God everyday for my daughter.
What do you think? Do you believe things happen for a reason or is it God’s work what happens to us.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, I see Gods hand in everything that happens in my life. I do not go to church often, however I pray and believe, I also am a lapse Catholic but I do wear my blessed St Christopher and I believe he protects me.
Thanks for your comments. Love that you wear St. Christopher.
Congratulations! As a Christian I depend on Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” God orchestrated your life, circumstances, and health to prepare you for the grand mission of parenthood. Embrace these days while using time wisely. Blessing!
I believe in God’s big picture and that everything does indeed happen for a reason. I don’t always know what that reason is so I have to hand that over to a higher power {= God} because I’d make myself desperately depressed if I didn’t.
I see your friend giving you the tip about the Agency in Pennsylvania as a God happening. Some may call it fate but no matter what you call it, you were meant to contact that agency and to find your new child.
wow you have had some stuff to deal with . You sound like a very nice lady and I hope you get lots of gods blessings this year. I think God has a plan but we are also in control of our life as well.
Praise God! I am heading over to read your 9/11 post after this comment. Born and raised in upstate NY, I’ve always loved the “city” and still feel sorrow when I remember that day. But as you state, God has a method to his madness and I know that one day we will all understand. It may just be so that I could have met you!
While I have not been personally touched by adoption, my sister has been foster parents for years and I see the need and hope in each child’s eyes. I am so thrilled that your prayers were finally answered and you’ve been blessed with your own little one.
Thanks so much for your response. I appreciate you stopping by!
I do believe in God but since we all have free will I do believe that everything happens for a reason and it’s because of the choices we make as individuals that affects those around us and sometimes people we don’t even know. I don’t believe that God intervenes in every thing we do.
What a moving story! I’m sure God had this all planned out for you and you just had to wait a bit longer to find the adoption agency in PA. I pray that everything goes well for you and your daughter 🙂
Thats all I can go is hope and prayer that things go as we hope, right.
God works in ways that we sometimes can’t really understand. I’m glad that the adoption worked out for you.
My mother has always told me that God doesn’t give you more than what you can handle.
I believe God has a powerful hand in the things that happen in our lives. I can speak on two instances involving myself., and I must add that I am not a religious person. I believe in God but I am not affiliated with a religion or church.
1.When I first learned that my mother (who is currently in remission for cancer), was sick, I was devastated. But I only truly cried when I heard the news. The next day, I felt this calm and throughout the month-long treatments in the hospital (I practically lived there too..sleeping many nights…I had my own bed), I was positive and truly felt calm in my heart, my body…it was a feeling I can only express as the presence of God. This is NOT how I normally react to something. I am a constant worrier and crawl up in a ball in the bed when I hear bad news. But with this instance, I did not react in this way. Also, when I heard the news, I had recently helped take care of someone for 5 years who eventually died from an aggressive form of cancer. I have seen the horrors of this disease. It’s scary and is one of my personal fears, but I was unaffected by my past experience when I heard my own mother would have to go through ‘the fight.’ How can that even be if without the help, guidance and strength from God?
2. Most recently, actually a couple of days ago, I believe God “tested” me or helped me see something in myself that only a particular experience could bring. Long story, but it has to do with the way I view my personal abilities and that I should not become complacent in the work I’ve been doing…and that everything is not a guarantee or comes easy.
Thanks for sharing your post!
I am 100% sure that if God had not intervened, I would not be a parent today. And I was not a particularly religious person when it happened. There was no burning bush, but I had been married for over 15 years at that point and we had agreed years earlier that we weren’t going to have kids. But on a long road trip between California and Texas, God just sort of stuck the idea of international adoption in both my husband’s head and in mine. We had NEVER even discussed it before then. And now, 8 years later I have 6 adopted kids!!!
Carrie at http://www.amazinggraceandasafehaven.com
I have always been a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I think if I didn’t, I would go insane from some of the stuff that I have to deal with in all honesty. I don’t know if it’s because of a divine intervention or if it’s just the way that things work out. But I always always believe that things happen for a reason, even if you don’t realize it at the moment it’s happening.
I think that God has timing that is beyond our human comprehension. However, I do not believe that every single thing that happens to us happens for a reason and I absolutely abhor when someone says that to people who have suffered a loss. I never found those words comforting. The proper response if you do not know what to say is “I’m sorry for your loss”. What I do think is that God takes bad things that happen and uses them for his purposes to bring good into our life. I’m so glad you were able to become a mom after your long wait!
being a mommy is the best job in the world Have fun!
I think it’s a mixture of both. Things do happen for a reason, but it’s through God’s work that they happen. He has plans for each of us, and though we may not understand why we are faced with hardships, they usually lead us to better things in the long run! It’s like the saying, “there’s no rainbow without the rain”!!
What a touching story. It seems as if you are seeking God anew. He is waiting to be found by you. His arms are always open to us and I believe He directs our lives. Sending prayers your way for a happy New Year.
Nothing happens for a reason. It is the worst phrase ever. There is no god that makes things happen.
How can there be one with all these evil things happening on this world?
Do not give me dead arguments to “explain” it.
Things just happen as big things evolution or small things as missing a bus and meeting because of that someone not seen for ages.
There is no fate, no destiny, no god, no Allah, no Karma. It all just “exists” in people’s heads.
Hi Moms! I am the Founder of LookBooker http://www.lookbooker.co – we know that Moms deserve a break and a treat more than anyone else and that booking your hair and beauty appointments can be a real pain. We bring together all the availabilities of over 100 salons in NYC and let you book them online – anywhere anytime. No more calling around! We’d love it if the next time you thought of booking a hair or beauty treatment (Valentine’s Day anyone?) you’d check us out!