New York is filled with nannies. All you have to do is visit any playground and you will see scores of them with their charges. I can’t say that I really know any of them. It’s an unwritten dynamic that you don’t really interact with them other than to maybe say “hi” and conversely they really are not interested in making friends with “the moms.” One of my good friend’s nanny who occasionally watches my daughter barely talks to me and God forbid, I should actually sit next to her at the park along with her nanny friends.
This school year, my daughter made friends with two new girls (Belinda and Robin) who just moved to the area. I really had not paid attention to either relationship until it literally came crashing into our lives via my iPhone Facetime during the Winter Break. While I was at work, I received a text from unknown male name with a foreign last name asking for my daughter. To say that I was freaked out is an understatement. Isn’t that every mom’s nightmare?
“Who is this, ” I boldly asked.
Next message included a little girl’s photo. “This is Belinda from your daughter’s class.”
First that she even knew our phone number which I am assuming my daughter gave to her somewhat disturbed me but that she would just send a photo to a stranger was even more disturbing.
I told her that this was my phone and that my daughter would text her later.
Mistake number 1 – I should have not even told my daughter about the call but I knew that would come to bite me when they returned to school.
That said, given it was the Winter Break, they texted and facetimed incessantly. I figured school would start up soon so it would stop except on the weekends. Mistake number 2 – I should have shut it down during the break.
As soon as school started again, my daughter received a couple of texts during school hours. I found out from my daughter that the mother (the parents are divorced) decided to go to San Francisco at the last minute. What does that tell you about a parent who decides to leave the day before school is to start up again?
I told my daughter that when the girl returned to tell Belinda that she can only text on the weekends and only for an hour. Needless to say this did not happen and thus began the arguments with my daughter over my answering the texts telling the girl to text on the weekend.
Let me say at this point, I have never seen the parents ever at drop off or pick up or anywhere. All I know and this is from daughter is the girl lives with her dad in a duplex, he travels a lot, they have a Russian live in nanny and the mother is off taking photography classes somewhere. “Warning, warning, warning.”
Finally, after days of arguing over texting during the week, I had to send an email to whomever (and trust me I have no idea if it was the mom or the dad’s email ) that was on the Class Contact list. I did get a positive response from the Dad who agreed on my take on the situation and that he would talk to his daughter.
Problem solved, right! Wrong!!
Remember I mentioned there were two new girls in the class, well, the third girls did not have FaceTime but was able to Skype so next thing you know, the three girls are skypeing on the weekends. At least with the third girl, Robin, I have met the mother who is normal and monitoring the situation
So last weekend, I have no idea what the exact conversation was since I was trying not to listen, the girls talking on Skype but all of sudden my daughter runs over and shows me Robin’s mom’s text to the nanny. In a nutshell, you could tell she was not happy and told the nanny that her language to the girls (her daughter and my daughter) was inappropriate and anything she had to say she could say to her. End of texting for the day.
So I asked my daughter what happened. Amazing how a parent’s I would say cruel and unnecessary comment has consequences. During a sleepover that all three girls attended, there was a concert. The father apparently told his daughter she did not sing very well and the other girls were better singers. You see where this is going.
Ever since then the girl has been mean to my daughter and Robin accusing them of talking about her behind her back which is what transpired on the skype call.
Yikes!!
Needless to say, it presented a quandary because I know how these situations go with girls, one minute they don’t like each other and aren’t talking and the next you know they want to have a playdate. Roller coaster hell, I say.
This past week, while at work, again an unfamiliar text popped up from the nanny. Again let me say how unusual that a nanny would reach out to a parent. She wanted to chat.
The hell with that, I just texted her back “I don’t think it’s a good idea that girls text each other anymore.”
“Agreed,” is all I got.
End of story, wrong again.
I spoke to the mother who told that her daughter is a little afraid of the Belinda is always trying to get them in trouble. I had to follow up with my daughter who said the same thing.
I will admit that I would not ordinarily send a note to the teacher but now the situation is such that I could see that this girl is going to try to make trouble for both girls. And given that my daughter teacher is a male, I’m sure he is clueless about the situation (yes, I am stereotyping.)
UGH!
Has this ever happened to you?
