Thoughts About Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain’s Suicides and Thanking My Lucky Stars for Family and Friends

Like many women living in New York City in the 90’s, owning a Kate Spade bag was a staple. You remember it, the rectangle nylon bag. I owned it black and brown. It probably started my love of expensive labeled bags.

 

Unless you live under a rock, you are well aware of Ms. Spade’s death. I will not dwell on judging her decision other than like other’s before and after her, one will never know how they were feeling before they made that fateful decision.

As if Kate Spade’s death was not enough, the news of Anthony Bourdain’s death came with a resounding slap to the emotions.  Those 90’s come up again. My friends I used regularly ate Les Halles, a French bistro on Park Avenue South (it is now closed). It was a pretty popular place.  Then one day, Kitchen Confidential tell-all book written by Les Halles’ executive chef Anthony Bourdain was released. And a star was born. I don’t read that many memoirs but this was not only a breath of fresh air, it was a behind the scenes look at the new york city restaurant business.

Again, I am not even going to judge their decisions nor try to even conjecture why because none of us is them.

That said, I think that when things like this happen, one HAS to take stock of their life.  I would be lying if I told you my life has been all candies and roses. I wish. While I have never suffered long-term bouts of depressions, like many people I have been sad and depressed. I have suffered through my parent’s deaths in my twenties which really threw me off for months but from those down moments, big decisions are made.  After my mother’s death, my sister and I decided to get jobs as English teachers in Japan and lived near my mother’s family. That was a year I will never forget. Would we have gone back to see them if she had lived? Maybe.

After my father’s death,  I had the luck of going to business school in France. That really took me out of my depressed state for a few months which led me to go into therapy when I returned to school because I had not really dealt with his death.

So many career setbacks, how many times have I been laid off or fired?  But you have to make lemonade out of lemons as they say. But I will say that I was lucky during those career setbacks to have had the foresight to have saved my money to survive those non-working years. And when I was laid off during the worst financial implosion of my life, I decided to start this blog. And expecting nothing other than o learn about social media, the opportunities that I have been offered over the years has been the pleasant and of course, the friends I have made of the women and men I have met through blogging has been a joy.

Of course, becoming a mom through adoption was and is the highlight of my life. While it ended happily, there were depressing moments during the two year wait period that sent me to curl up on my sofa wondering if I would ever be a mom.  Now, of course, I am the mother of a teenager which is having it’s many lows (and there are many) but highs that make up for the lows.

Just this past week, I celebrated my birthday.  Every year, four of my best friends take each other out for dinner (a very nice dinner, I might add) but it’s rarely on our actual birthday. So it was a surprise that at my birthday dinner that my daughter arranged that all my best friends attended.  It was really the nicest thing. And I am lucky that my friends from all parts of my life were there. It made realize and yes I know that they are always there for me no matter what. They have always stepped up when I needed them especially when my daughter was a toddler and even now offering their kind support and prayers now that she is a teenager.

 

I like to remember in these emotional times to remind those you love to remind them that you do love them and that you appreciate your support. And what I learned long ago, that life is full of ups and downs and you need to suck it up and ask for help when you need it and even if you just want your friends to listen to you whine and cry then don’t text, pick up the phone or arrange to meet for coffee or dinner or a walk!! Just do it!

Take care readers! I appreciate you and love you all!