Map of Japan (Credit: thekexperience.com)
Since my late mother’s family still lives in Japan (they are fine, by the way), I have had to deal with multiple questions from daughter about Japan and the devastating earthquake and resulting tsunami.
Below are some suggestions on how to talk to your child about the situation in Japan but also with tragedies and disasters in general.
1. Start by listening.
Find out what your child already knows. You can then respond in an age-appropriate way. The aim is not to worry them with the devastating details, but to protect them from misinformation they may have heard from friends or disturbing images they may have seen on television.
2. Provide clear, simple answers.
Limit your answer to the question asked and use simple language.
3. If you don’t know the answer, admit it.
If your children ask questions that you can’t answer, tell them so, and then do some research to try and help them sort it out. If they ask “Why did this have to happen?” don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know.” The reassurance offered can be invaluable in helping your child sort through the truth that awful things happen.
4. Follow media reports or online updates privately.
Young children in particular are easily traumatized and seeing or hearing about the horrifying details of the quake may be more than they can cope with. Adults, too, should ensure they are dealing with their own emotions by talking to others, so they can continue to respond well to their children’s needs.
5. Concentrate on making them feel safe.
When tragedies occur, children wonder if the same event could happen in their hometown. If it was an act of nature that could not be repeated in your area, tell children that. Placing themselves in the situations of victims is not all bad-it is a sign of empathy, an essential life skill, but watch for signs of excessive worrying.
6. Give children creative outlets.
Some children may not be prepared to speak about what they have heard, but may find drawing or other creative activities helpful to deal with their emotions and stress. Their drawings can be helpful starting points for conversation.
7. Model involvement and compassion.
Tell your child that, as a family, you will be helping the people in Japan by giving a donation to a reputable charity or your choice.
8. Give your child a chance to be involved.
Being involved in the solution will help relieve some of their anxiety. Invite them to contribute to the family’s gift by giving something out of their piggy bank.
Organizations that are helping the Japanese in their post earthquake/tsunami relief efforts.
Japan Society Japan Earthquake Relief Fund is committed to sending 100% of the fund directly to non-profits already working in the ground in Japan.
The Japanese Chamber of Commerce and Industry: This fund also goes straight to Japan but they accept checks only.
The Japanese embassy in the U.S. is suggesting to contact American Red Cross
World Vision, a humanitarian organization, has worked in Japan for more than two decades and responded to the massive Kobe earthquake in 1995, and now has staff assisting in the relief efforts in Sendai. I am appreciative of the tips they provided in talking to kids about tragedies and disasters.
Thanks to fellow blogger and friend, The Culture Mom for providing American Red Cross, Japanese Chamber of Commerce and Industry and Japanese Earthquake Relief Fund recommendations.
