Did you hear? Malia Obama has been accepted to Harvard University, the class of 2021. It’s not significant that she got into Harvard, the big news is that she is taking a “Gap Year” before she starts in Fall 2017.This comes as big shock as this is not the way it’s done in the United States. The push to get into college in this country is huge. Taking a year off is seen as getting off the fast track or that you are not ready or that you will fall behind your peers.
But that is not the case in Europe or Australia. I can not tell the number of Brits and Aussies I have met over the years who have took a gap year before entering university.
There is much speculation as to why she is taking a gap year. I look at this news as a teachable moment for parents and the next generation applying to college to consider taking a year off before entering college.
I guess I mean that it is a teachable moment for me, helicopter Mom. I, for one have been pushing my daughter now in middle school and beating the drum on how she needs to get her act together in high school so she can get into a good college. Isn’t that what a good parent is supposed to do? Push, push and push so we can drop them them off on the steps of an ivy covered school.
Maybe not!
Before we headed on vacation, I purposely chaperoned a field trip to New York University to tour the campus and hear from the students discussing the college application process. Did I mention my daughter is in middle school? My daughter refused to go on the trip hence why I volunteered to chaperone so as to force her to go. I thought why not take advantage of touring a top rate school in our back yard and have a students provide the kids with an understanding what it takes to get into a good school. Did she gain anything from the experience? Who knows! She did not ask one question during the tour.
That night at dinner, she announced that she had no idea where she wanted to go to college (what!!! you are 13 years old and you don’t know where you want to go college) but she was taking a “Gap Year” before she started. My heart jumped out of my chest, like what a failure I am as a parent. That’s not what’s expected as I thought of her peers who were learning Chinese at 5 years old or going to expensive private schools who would be getting her spot at good school. Help!!! Where is my Kumon and tutoring money going to. Help I say!!
I asked her why she would be taking a “Gap Year.” To get a job to make money for college was her response. While I should have been thrilled by her wanting to save money for college, my first notion was are you planning to start a company to make $50,000 for a year’s tuition. Yes, let’s go to the negative right as opposed to thinking she is being responsible in planning ahead.
I just put this wacky notion away until this week when the announcement came out about Malia Obama’s decision. I have been reading many of the articles about her big decision. What I have gleaned is how freshman are so not prepared or that many drop out in their second year because kids are so unprepared. And because the stress of the run up to get into colleges, kids arrive stressed out, binge drink and other things, you get the idea. I am sure many of this generation have been coddled and just don’t know how to cope.
I have also been reading that even Harvard University encourages kids to take a gap year. And according to Middlebury College, kids who take a gap year do not suffer grade wise.
While I have a few years to even have to deal with the notion of the Gap Year, and I will definitely be supportive of her decision, there is a flip side. On top of determining colleges to apply to, visiting colleges, I will be looking at Gap Year options.
Is there a Helicopter Mom Gap Year?
What do you think about your child taking a Gap Year?
I can only comment on my own experience. I was a great student (Bx. HS of Science), graduated at 16 (skipped 8th grade), and was accepted at the college of my choice. But due to my youth (and other factors) I felt I desperately needed a year off. My parents refused. So off I was shipped, before I was ready. I spent my freshman getting stoned and getting laid. I was invited to leave school. So I did, and never went back. The moral of the story? Listen to your child. Sometimes, she actually DOES know what is best.
Wow, that is quite a tale. I do think going to college at 16 is really young. So much craziness goes on freshman year which you obviously encountered and engaged in. Thanks for sharing.
I went to college as an adult a few years after high school. I gotta tell you it helped. Having time to prepare for the demands of college is so helpful. Let her have her gap year. That more time to spend with her at home 🙂
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I’m that kid who started college a month or two after high school and was screwed by the counsellor giving me classes that should never be taken together! That failing grade discouraged me and I took a semester off. When I started again it was a bit easier, but other life issues got in the way . Now I’m out of school and praying any college accepts me with this low GPA that I received by not getting the hep I needed in fixing the Counsellor’s mistake. I think That Gap is DEFINITELY needed (At least For me, I wish I’d taken it.)
i think we underestimate the influence of counselors and their impact. Sorry to hear about the impact on your gpa. Stay positive and go back to school, you will not be sorry.
I took a gap year and I regret it. I’m pretty sure my intelligence level does not compare to Obama’s though. I rather my kids go to community college for two years, then transfer to a university. That time off made me so lazy.
I think it’s an individual decision whether or not to take a gap year. I can understand the need to take a gap year in order to work to save up for college. On the other hand, if finances are not an issue, I would prefer if they took a gap year towards the end of their studies so that they got the majority of their studies under their belt before taking a year off.
I think that taking a year off before going to college makes so much sense. I heard that most people change their major three times before graduating college. Maybe if they had taken some time two think about what they really want To do before starting their studies they wouldn’t have to change their major as many times. Congratulations to Malia Obama for her acceptance at Harvard!
I think gap years are great. Many students use this time to volunteer and travel nd I’m all for it. We have to stop trying to force things on our kids and other people. This year will be a great opportunity for her and others to explore and see what she “really” likes and dislikes. I promise this will save tons of money, avoiding the dilemma of getting a degree in a field that you find that you absolutely hate. – Yolo
I think the fact that she’s even thinking about college is great. I know when I was that age, I was more worried about other things that didn’t necessarily have to do with school. I also think it’s great she feels she can talk to you about this possible decision in the future. As a parent it’s hard to listen sometimes because we want what’s best for our kids, but sometimes it’s best to let them go through it and pray you did the best you could to guide them in the right direction.
I think that a gap year is a great idea. I find that older students take school more seriously and I remember when I went back as an adult, you could always tell the students who went right from high school. I think wanting to take a year off to earn money for school shows great responsibility on your daughter’s part.
I think parents should let their children make their own decisions. When your child gets to college age, in most cases, they are legal adults. Telling your child she HAS to go to college or HAS to get a degree or HAS to do something when she’s an adult (aside from bills and taxes) is basically taking away your child’s freedom of choice. Forget the Obamas and whatever ‘fabulous’ new trend they’ll get copied for just because they’re the Obamas. You’ll do your child more favors by teaching her to evaluate her options and make an informed decision based on what is best for HER, instead of saying, “hey, this random famous person whose life is nothing like ours made this decision. we should consider it, too.” If the same decision is a logical and sound decision for your daughter, then good for her. The decision just shouldn’t be based on what other people are doing.
I am glad this is a topic that you feel comfortable commenting on, especially as a parent. I can only speak from my own experience (I am a new mom, however she’s only 5 and I’ve yet to begin thinking about college for her!) My experience comes from a daughters standpoint – I recently graduated (in 2012) and I could not get through college fast enough. However, right after college you have so much college debt (for those of us who did not obtain scholarship or have parental assistance!) You’ve been going to school every day since you are 5 years old, and then you continue on a 4+ year college experience only to graduate and have to be in the working field almost immediately to pay off your college debts.
Where is the opportunity for travel? The opportunity to find oneself or to even have a break from schooling to learn what it feels like to not identify as a “student.” I did not take a gap year, I do wish I had however. A year out in the real world, getting paid minimum wage and surviving on my own would have matured me a bit more prior to starting my freshman year at a large university. I say it’s for each individual and their family to decide. Gap years are not for everyone but I do see the benefits of experience and growth there!
A gap year is a fantastic thing to do, it’s such a done thing here in Ireland. It’s a great opportunity to travel and work and if I’m honest, I wish I took one instead of doing a useless university course. I think a gap year is a great excuse to take time out to decide what you really want from life.