NYC Single Mom Family Portrait
“Jealousy”
Webster” defines it as “an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.” I am sure you are wondering where this random post is coming from. It’s because someone accused me of being “jealous” of their success. Honestly, I found this rather amusing and sad given how they defined success. Needless to say, in now way was I jealous but happy for them.
This comment made me reflect back over the last gazillion years of my life about events that actually made me jealous.
- My former assistant is now the President of Interactive for a top ten NYC agency. Life is full of key decisions and twists in turns. He chose to stay with the same company, rose through the ranks while I decided to go business school. Sadly, that decision was put on hold after my mother died in car accident returning from visiting her family in Japan. This event resulted in my sister and I going live to Japan to be near my grandmother, aunts/uncle and cousins we had not seen for many years. After my year in Japan, I went to live and study in Florence Italy then took care of my dad after he got sick. I did eventually got to b-school where I met two of my closest friends who are like sisters to me and are my daughter’s godmothers.
- My closest friend in NYC who started with me in advertising is an SVP at another ad agency and has outearned me for the last 15 years and I mean out earn.
- One of my former direct reports heads up a business unit in Fortune 50 company.
- Another close friend met her Italian husband through me. She and I met in Japan where we were both teaching English and she came to visit while I was studying in Italy. Somehow her Italian boyfriend moved to the US and mine didn’t. Oh well, our kids will at least grow up together.
- Children whose grandparents are still alive. My parents died many years ago and it makes me sad that my parents will never know my daughter and certainly for my daughter that she will only know them through pictures and anecdotes.
- People with second homes in the Hamptons or the country.
- Snooki – Okay, I am not jealous of Snooki, I am jealous that she has a best selling book.
- People with laundry rooms and big apartments.
- Families who live close by. My sister lives in Atlanta, near my aunt and cousins and other cousins live on the West Coast. I wish I could visit them more often but alas. ..
I am sure you figured out that I am not actually jealous of the above items with the exception of wanting a larger apartment and a laundry room. The more apt word might be occasionally envious but I have no regrets about the decisions that I have made because cliche as it sounds life sometimes just happens and some things are meant to be.
Firstly, your family portrait is incredible. Your mother was simply beautiful – the whole family is!
Like you, I wouldn’t change a thing about the choices I’ve made in life (for the good and the bad). These defining moments have shaped me into the woman I am today.
Regarding the word (or accusation) “jealousy” – I’ve find that it’s thrown around like confetti. I appreciate how you’ve illustrated actual circumstances that could warrant jealousy… really helps put things in perspective.
And P.S. I’m so jealous of Snookie’s book too. What I wouldn’t give to become a millionairess reality star over NOTHING. 😉
Thanks so much. i should have run it as WW and may still do that in couple of weeks.
Linda, you’re such a class act. I can’t imagine anyone calling you jealous but I’m glad you’re keeping it in perspective. I had no idea you were half Japanese and that you lived and studied abroad. For all the heartache you undoubtedly suffered, what amazing experiences you gained. It’s impossible to know what life would be like if we made different choices. I agree, some things just happen that way they’re supposed to and we need to embrace it rather than second guess. xo
I do your family portrait! Thank you for sharing that picture…Gorgeous family!
I really hate when people throw that word jealously around. This is such a great post! I can really relate to what you are saying.
I am jealous of people with laundry rooms and big apartments! LOL! Anyone who has to do quarter laundry most likely is. Maybe I’m jealous of the Housewives of Beverly Hills, but that’s it and even then not really because money doesn’t equal happiness…ever!
i found your blog through wordless wednesday… but i guess your wednesday wasn’t so wordless. 🙂 i’m glad i found your blog regardless. my mom died before i met my husband and i think often that i wish he could have met my mom and that she could have met him. And my grandparents as well… i wish my hubby could have met them. they were amazing people. it’s not a jealousy thing. just a fleeting pang in the chest. <3
Thanks for stopping by and your comments, truly makes me feel better.
They say “life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans.” Sure, you held off to go to B-school, but you studied and lived abroad… and now you have a beautiful daughter. And I’m SURE you wouldn’t change any of that. People seem to throw around the “J” word without really thinking if the situation would warrant someone being jealous over it. Having gotten to know you, I can’t even see you being jealous of someone else.
I love your family picture!! I also love your sense of perspective. It’s so easy to look back on decisions and think “if I had done X, I could have had X.” But you are so right – we make our decisions, and we end up at a particular place in life for a reason. Well written!
Thanks for your kind words.