Therapy Thursday – Read How it All Began

Originally, posted October 22, 2009

It’s been a few weeks since I have posted a Therapy Thursday post. Next week, I will start posting again but thought for those who may be new to the site that I would post the first in the series of how I ended up in therapy.

—————————————————

Yes, I have a Therapist. Once you put it out there, you can’t take it back, right? I have been wanting to post this for awhile but have been somewhat reluctant. Sure, I have tons of pictures of my daughter and me, exposing other parts of my life but telling people you have a therapist, call the Enquirer, Page 6, the horror.

I think once you admit you have a therapist, you are all but acknowledging something is amiss in your life. That is not the way to think about therapy.

So how did I end up with a therapist. First, let me say, Dr. R. is my family therapist not my “therapist” (I am sure that I need that too, but one problem at time.) I am pretty sure she is a therapist for all that ails you which is why I chose her, I figured maybe once I get over this particular need, I would move on to working my own self improvement. We all need help even if we don’t think so.

My family, that’s how I ended with a family therapist. Since they don’t read my blog, they will never know what is being said about them. Of course, this will probably  when they will choose to visit and well, hilarity will not ensue.

This summer (of 2009), we were supposed go on a beach vacation with my extended family (explaining my family will take another post).

During the previous year (2008), we drove down with my “parents, Nana and Pop Pop” (these are people who have been there since my both my parents died and are my daughter’s grandparents) from Virginia to South Carolina which is an 8 hour drive. Needless to say, my daughter was not a happy camper on the trip and was somewhat I am not going to say out of control but not wonderful. She does what any 5 year old does, I think. She vies for your attention all the time, interrupts your conversations, whines, pretends she is car sick to get out of the car so she can stretch her legs (okay maybe that’s not normal.) Well, we did only stopped twice in eight hours. And the way back, I can only describe her behaviour as angry and belligerent talking back in a way that was soooo unusual for my daughter.

While at the beach, she was pretty much a nuisance, running after the big kids who pretty much thought she was a gnat. Was she a good listener, no? Was she out of control? I don’t think so. Was this Nanny 911 territory? NO.

Since the vacation, my mom has been asking me if there was an improvement in her behaviour and am doing anything to correct it.  I admitted that no her behaviour was better but certainly perfect.  Let’s face it, dealing with a 6 year old is an ongoing process and is she perfect no and am I perfect., god no. She is what I have taken in my informal poll of other parents, a typical six year old –  sassy, not a  great listener, constantly testing you, pushing the boundaries, you get the picture.

That summer, I was expecting to go to the beach but not really looking forward to it. Frankly, I just didn’t want to deal with driving down with them again and sent an email saying I was going to rent a car so we could stop when we wanted.

Well the response I was expecting was sure, no problem. What I got (via email) was they did not think it was a good idea that we come, given my daughter’s behaviour last year and that they did not see any improvement when we had visited in January. To say that I was taken aback was an understatement so I sent back an email, rather snippy one at at that (why??? Note to self, never send emails in anger.)

The next email was even more blistering about how I was disrespectful and more to the point ungrateful for all they had done for me. I, of course, apologized profusely which was sincere knowing they in their own way are trying to help me and am now trying repair the relationship. This is difficult since they don’t live here.

Somewhere in all the emails was the suggestion that I need to see a therapist to get this situation under control.

Is that a good reason to see a therapist? Appeasing your family, maybe not but the alternative is to have to deal with answering why I am not seeing a therapist.

So there you have it.

Read about my first meeting with Dr. R.

P.S. She knows that I am going to write about my seeing a therapist.