It’s not what you think. Sadly, my boyfriend or fiance has NOT moved in with my daughter and me, I am not even dating (but that’s another story.)
My younger brother has moved in with us. He moved in a couple of weeks ago to look for job, after two years living in Louisville, Kentucky.
As anyone with children will attest, introducing a new person into the household can be quite stressful, chaotic and is bound to upset the natural order of things.We are no different.
My daughter does indeed see my brother as a rival for my affections. Before he moved in, we discussed how our lives, our routine and our living arrangement would change and she expressed excitement and fear all at the same time. Me too, if truth be told.
While she was excited to have him here, she was fearful that I would love him more than her. Let’s face it, it’s just been my daughter and me for her entire life. Of course, we have friends but no family nearby. it’s just us chickens.
So it’s been two weeks since my brother arrived. As one who is still looking for a job, landing a job in New York isn’t an easy task although I do think he will land something sooner than me. That said, his presence has definitely changed the dynamics of our household but in a good way.
For me, he has been a help just doing drop off and pick up which allows me to work on my blog, my new business venture and looking for a job. Plus he has been great at helping me out around the house like cooking. We were kidding before he came, but he really is our manny/chef.
What’s great about my brother being around is that it’s great for my daughter to have a man around the house to balance things out. Yes, we have other dads that she knows but having a daily male presence at this age is great for her, if only because my brother is great at filling in all those holes, I am interested in but don’t have time to explain. And what would those holes be, stuff like remembering all the plot points in the Star Wars movies, explaining the game of football and having her help out in the kitchen.
That all said, she is still a little sad for a lack of better word that we don’t spend time together.
As a result, I am making an effort to just spend time with her alone on the weekends and enjoying Friday dinners by ourselves so she knows and feels like I am not going to jettison her.
We are managing pretty well so far. Check back in a couple of months.
As she gets older, she’ll realize that her uncle being in the house was actually good for her and her mom. You’re doing a tremendously good job at mommyhood!
I so agree. This weekend when he went away just for a day, she was sad.
I think that the time alone will REALLY be beneficial to you and your daughter. And you are absolutely right, having the male figure around now will prove to be a very positive experience for her.
That’s nice that your brother is there, as she will grow closer to her uncle and you’ll of course have unlimited quality time with your brother! But I do love the idea of you creating that additional “mother/daughter” bonding time, so she still feels like you all still have your own special time together.